either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
