You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
