I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
