Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
