i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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