I hate all girls vehemently.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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