and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
