Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
