i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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