his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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