Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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