Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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