Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
