the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
