it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
