honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
