She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
