I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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