So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
