I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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