Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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