people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
