drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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