as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
