WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
