it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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