All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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