Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
