Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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