dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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