If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
