I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
