They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
