why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
