Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
