Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
