i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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