Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
