Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
