she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
