How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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