At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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