I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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