check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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