I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
