Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
