Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
