she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
