White coat. Heels.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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