We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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