Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
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